An Open letter from me to the Lord....
Dear God...
I know that you have told us that you will never give us any more trials than we are capable of enduring at a particular time...
Well, just in case you decide you want to, I will not mind sharing some of the seemingly unending stress with unforeseen accompanying blessings with someone who has had some time off from such "mixed emotion" situations. If it were not for my love of You, and my trust that You really DO know what is going to happen in my life, i really believe that I might be on the verge of losing what is left of my mind!
Now, Lord, I know that to many I might appear to "have it altogether." But, you see, Lord, I have noticed lately that not only am I becoming forgetful as to what "it" was... I don't really remember the last place I had "it" when "it" was altogether... :-) I have become less and less coordinated lately about the trick of keeping several balls in the air without doing myself irreparable harm... Remember, I am the one of your daughters who once played catch with a croquet ball and missed-resulting in a quick visit to the ER and several stitches to my lip. In fact, I can send you a picture of the scar I have from that particular experience.
So, please, Lord.... just for a minute or two of YOUR time, not necessarily MY time, I would relish the opportunity to "take a chill pill", "stop and smell the roses" "tiptoe through the tulips" or just take a deep breathe.......
Thank you thus far for the many lessons I have learned through my previous "learning experiences." I promise I will be ready to tackle some more in just a little bit, but just at the moment, I am a little more weary in mind and soul than I like to be in order to give my new trials the attention they so richly deserve.
Of course, whatever happens is up to you, but I figure the worst possible answer from You would be "No, no break now" in which case just disregard the possibly negative attributes of my above words and along with my next schedule trials and afflictions, please send some indication as to the possible arrival of my "guardian angel" so I will know if I continue to make a fool of myself at least you have sent me someone to "be in my corner", "to watch my back" and to remind me of just how special it is to be in the "here and now."
Hopefully I will visit again with You again really, really soon.....
Susan
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2 comments:
Dear Susan:
As our favorite older sister, and someone who understands that life throws us unexpected adventures complete with trials mixed with blessings, might I offer the following advice?...take life one day at a time; stop and listen to the advice of others (they may be those guardian angels for you) and I repeat - really listen to what they may say without judging them or their words. If they didn't care for you and your well-being, they wouldn't offer their words. Don't live the rest of your life trying to make people love/like you. You are like sticky flypaper - you can naturally attract people just by being a quiet, infectious presence who dispenses subtle humor and friendliness. Let others come to you - don't pursue them. You are and have been my guardian angel on so many occasions and it's been in a quiet comforting way doled out with genuine love and no thought of "look at me". Put aside old thoughts of negativity towards others and cultivate your true friendships and family connections. Be happy and love yourself and others will seek you. I love you and I miss you and I cherish you.
Thanks for your words... I really do listen to them... Yesterday was a day that hit me from left field... I was called into Mr. Gravitt's office and chewed out horribly for a couple of things that were totally taken out of context... It happened right before my first class and I didn't even have time to take a deep breathe before having to face my students... I have turned in my letter of intent not to return to 8th Street this next year. I turned it in the 1st of Feb. so, I saw no reason on earth for him to act like such a "butt hole" yesterday.. That, coupled with his blatant absence from the Teacher of Excellence banquet shows his true level of respect for what I do. (By the way, the Central Office was really embarrased by his absence also.) I don't do things with my students or in my classroom just to please him, but I also know that many things my History Club youngins do bring honor and good community relations to the school. I had not even left my room the other day and yet by noon, I had been chewed out by two administrators, so each day at the moment is a battle for me to remain out of the line of fire and still give my students the best I can.. So, my blog yesterday was sort of tongue in cheek and not totally serious. I do know that every teacher who goes to the Tifton Ward is either wanting to retire or teach elsewhere and that is 4 of us--including Dianne. So, my feelings are not just mine... Today's paycheck, for instance, was $500 shorter than normal because of the 8th and 9th furlough days we teachers have had to have so far this year and we still have 5 more days to "give" the state as free labor so the state budget can be balanced. I live daily by the philosophy of "one day at a time", but some days more arrows come my way than I have a chance to duck... !! As for my own personal happiness, I have some things I have been working on and are not yet ready to share, but I am quite peaceful with it these days... I am also taking time to be "selfish" with myself and do things that bring me personal joy...Stay tuned..and remember that I do love you
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